| (no subject) |
[Jul. 19th, 2007|07:33 am] |
I was riding a horse on monday and then a small bird flew straight into my face and hit me at full speed.
I had a really awkward dream last night. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2007|10:20 pm] |
| [ | the noise |
| | All Songs Considered | ] |
This isn't what I wanted.
A year ago
I was deciding
if friday or saturday
was better
to spend
passed out
in my second home
after long hours
of blurry sight
and loud music.
I was part of a legend,
where you could always find
a half gallon,
and parents
were never a concern.
But the truth is,
I never knew anyone
And that didn't bother me,
It does now.
Two years ago,
I walked the streets
In mid-winter
with no jacket
scrounging money
and taking trips to the woods
learning what it really meant
to be a teenager.
I've been trying to write
about High School
like it's over.
Pretending to be
in a cramp dorm
surrounded by
the history
of a hundred other people
instead of
this familiar
black office chair
in the room where my sister
kicked a hole in the wall
and said she just fell
to get out of trouble.
I'm trying to compose a history
that isn't over
Because the truth is,
I'm just biding my time
until it is. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2007|06:30 pm] |
I'm pretty pissed about existing right now.
I'm not really sure if there is any other way to put it. I feel like I cannot even be held accountable for half of the things I do right now simply because I'm just trying to bide my time.
My life has been very anticlimactic for some time now and I don't appreciate it. Most things are just plain annoying. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2007|02:53 pm] |
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Ick, people. They make me cringe. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2007|09:13 pm] |
I would like to believe that no one really knows how I think, or what I think about. This is probably very far from the truth.
Today I cut off a lot of my hair. I meant to just make some of it a little bit more even but then I just kept going. And going. Which is ok, I guess, because I think I might like the way it turned out better than the way it was before.
Sometimes I think about posting real things that I write but I never really do that. Writing in a public place makes me feel really self conscious about what I write and how I write it. I'm always thinking about who might be reading this or who I would hope is reading this. I guess when it comes down to it I don't have as much confidence in my writing skills as I make myself out to. For a while last year Mr. Shaheen gave me some confidence but that slowly disappeared with time. Now I am probably more protective than ever about it.
Yesterday I was reminded of how much I like making mix tapes. And mix cd's too for that matter. I do not believe there is a person in the world who has spent as much time as I have putting thought into a mix for me as I have for them. I might be mistaken, but I do not think so. If I really care, I will put hours and hours into the exact composition making a story out of the music. I like making stories out of music it gives an extra layer of emotion to the music. I also have a tendency to analyze what songs are put on mixes for me even if I know that little or no effort was put into the actual composition. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2007|01:15 am] |
I have the worst sleep patterns ever. I just woke up from what can be called nothing but the most awkwardly placed nap on the face of the earth. Doom.
On friday I have the hardest final ever and I have to get at least a B-. I am going to admit I have not studied even a little bit yet but tomorrow is going to be study city. I cannot wait for a new semester to just start already. Perhaps I will gain some motivation. Oh no wait, it will be second semester senior year.
Besides school I'm kind of stressed out anyway. The kind of stressed out that makes me want to sit at home all weekend and do nothing but read and write. Even though I fuck around and do nothing for the better part of every day I somehow feel like I need to just chill. Maybe because I never do things that actually involve my brain.
Oh, I got an A on the content of my Senior Research paper. Fuck Jon Blough, fuck him real hard. Scatter-shot suggestion of a paper my ass. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2007|12:52 am] |
About a month before I got a MIP I wrote a pretty lengthy entry in my paper journal about how I pretty much felt guilty that nothing even remotely bad had ever happened to me. It was pretty much me rambling off all the bad things that have never happened to me. On of the things on the list was I've never gotten in trouble with the police. I had totally forgotten I ever wrote this until today. I find it rather ironic. I was asking for it, pretty much. Dammit.
It's kind of funny, really. At least it is now. I probably would have burned my whole journal if I saw that within a month of the time I got it. I was pissed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 28th, 2006|04:55 pm] |
| [ | the noise |
| | Coco Rosie-Left hand shoe | ] |
Christmas: My dad was in the hospital all day.
I got ham juice all over my pants. (I hate ham more than any other meat ever created)
We ate Chinese food.
That about sums it up. It was pretty good except for those first two things which happened within a hour of each other.
I have some fuchsia hairs and a phone that works now.
That's about all I have to say. I think.
Life is pretty alright at the moment. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2006|12:42 pm] |
Dear Holidays,
Fuck You.
Dear Girl(s),
Fuck You.
Dear Lime Green Sweater from Salvation Army,
Stop making me look so goofy.
Dear Liver,
I'm sorry.
Dear Ohio,
Stop existing.
I know I don't write in this very often and it's probably because I don't really care to have random people know the intimate details of my life. I doubt that random people care about the intimate details of my life anyway. It's pretty boring.
Christmas feels like it crept out of nowhere for me, I am not feeling it yet. Next year I think I am going to cut the presenting part out of my holiday season. I find it kind of pointless plus, my parents will be doing enough for me already for sending me to college.
I do have lots of other things I could say right now but I'm over it already. I'm not trying to impress anybody and I don't want to impress anybody, that is all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2006|05:30 pm] |
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Being a hater is a way of life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2006|04:39 pm] |
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right now I am very tempted to call up danielle and say, "Can I please come work starting next week?" I'd probably regret it sometime or another but right now being home sucks. It's depressing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|12:52 am] |
I like looking at online dating sites for people with herpes.
I also like listening to harry potter while playing pokemon.
and making lists of peoples good and bad qualities. mostly bad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2006|11:17 pm] |
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My mother smoked while pregnant with me. I just learned this fact today. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 20th, 2006|09:33 pm] |
Patience is the best virtue.
Um, yes? no? maybe?
. . .
yes.
maybe.
no. yes.
I cannot decide. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2006|04:18 pm] |
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I make life an awkward experience. (!!!) |
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|
| uhm. . .? |
[Feb. 27th, 2006|10:17 pm] |
| [ | the noise |
| | coco rosie-terrible angles | ] |
Walked in the door today to find my father standing in the kitchen eating a giant bowl of spaghetti and an english muffin with jam on it. Then talked to my mom she was being weird, got a very brief whiff of something that smelled very much like marijuana. Still trying to convince myself it was just weird toaster smell. Though, it would explain a lot. . . . .
Went to Alex’s got offered pants. Was initially pleased at the idea but then realized she was giving me her fat pants which is upsetting. Trying not to care because I get free pants.
Demonizing stage is a go. Times three. This is good news. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2006|12:00 am] |
Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?
And a bad reputation
isn't the end of the world,
as long as you're having
fun. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|06:26 pm] |
I think I'm allergic to my house.
and I fell asleep at 8pm last night, it was nice.
. . . that's all |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2005|02:29 pm] |
| [ | the noise |
| | Moulin Rouge - The Pitch | ] |
There once was a girl who was sewing up a hole in her pants, she was a very bad sewer, so she had a hard time sewing up the hole. When she was almost done, her mother walked into her room and said, “go to bed” and turned off her light. The girl had to finish sewing up the hole by the light of her cell phone, because of the poor lighting, she did not do a very good job. Later, she found a flash light, but by that time, she had moved on. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2005|06:01 pm] |
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back. finally. relief, almost. |
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